Omg, shoes.

At the age of 24, I would have never imagined the type of person I've become.
I always envisioned life in the church or in a serious relationship and finished school.
You can never plan your life, you can just try to navigate it the best you can. Like sailing in the ocean. Aiming towards a destination but not knowing what will be waiting there for you when you arrive.

I thought I knew it all, giving my life, my all for a celestial being that I've never seen. Walking by faith, not worried about the future.
I didn't know what to expect, maybe it was my poor planning and faith that it would all work out that led me to where I am today.. To the type of person that I am today.

Regardless, I still believe but it's been a complicated relationship, full of failed promises and triumphs. I can't begin to describe it. Maybe it's like a father son relationship and I've been rebellious.
After your passing, I was weak, full of hatred, alone and didn't know what to believe, let alone keep my head straight.
It took awhile to realize that being sad, weak and unloving were getting me nowhere and it wasn't helping the people around me. I was a cancer.
After almost 3 years I realized that I needed to change, to love again.
To love my family, be their brother, their leader. My family was struggling and I made it my mission to lead them out of those trenches and to provide them with the love that I had for so long kept from them.
Then, I began to realize, when was the last time I worked on myself? Like truly focused on my own self development and personal growth. I barely knew myself and that's when I began to push myself physically and mentally.
I dropped my terrible eating habits, I exercised everyday, meditated consistently, started a new career and got to know myself from the inside out.
I still have so much growth left to me, but through persistence and God I can fill the shoes that my brother left behind.

John always had big feet too. Lol.